Instinct or the learned way?

Over the last few weeks I have been thinking about the way that we have been bringing up Milly.  This started because of a pair of Peregrine Falcons that have chosen the Newton Building of Nottingham Trent University to nest atop of, and rear their chicks.  They have doing this successfully for the last 10 years, but this being my first year working at Trent, this is the first time that it has really come to my attention.  As some of you may know, the University has installed a webcam near the nest so anyone can see the coming and goings of the falcons, and the development of the chicks, it really does make for compelling viewing, but I should warn that if you watch long enough, you are likely to see plenty of dead pigeons being ripped apart!!!  If anyone is interested, http://www.ntu.ac.uk/ecoweb/biodiversity/falcons/index.html.

As I say, working here has allowed me to see quite a bit of the footage (there is always somebody with it on, and as it’s a University website, we are allowed to watch it, or they can’t tell us not to!!).  It has been interesting watching  the falcons work together to prepare the nest, protect the eggs that were laid, and take care of the chicks as they hatched.  What I found most fascinating was the selflessness of the birds, as they would go off to hunt, and return with their bounty to feed the chicks, taking care to serve each hungry mouth (there were 4 chicks).  Just when you thought that one might be being missed, it would suddenly find its way to the front and make sure it didn’t miss out.  Watching all this unfold made me think of how easy it is to lose touch with our instincts as parents.  When Milly was born, we were given plenty of advice, as I have discussed previously.  We were provided with a book that gave us guidance on what to expect as first time parents, which covers up to the age of 5, and we were assigned a health visitor who told us that we could contact her at pretty much anytime if we needed to ask her anything.  What was clear, is that we had a safety net of information that we could refer to when we were unsure of anything and, as I’m sure every parent does, we used this when necessary.  I would say that 9 times out of 10 what we were told, or what we read, backed up what we had wanted to do, showing that our instincts were leading us towards the right path.  But there were occasions when we felt completely lost and needed that extra guidance.  What I can’t say at this point is whether this was a result of information overload subduing a gut feeling, or whether those particular situations went beyond what our instincts could tell us.  I guess that is something that we’ll never be able to answer.  What I can say is, however, that it is entirely possible to raise a child purely on the advice of professionals, and the plethora of paraphernalia that is available to anyone.  In my opinion, this would not be a good way to go about it, but it could be done.

Being in the midst of the weaning process, it was watching the falcons feed their chicks that I related to the most.  It made me think how we had known that Milly was ready to move onto more solid food, but delayed because everything told us that you had to wait until 6 months, and that we had to bear in mind Milly’s 'adjusted' age.  Yet the falcons just got on with it.  They didn’t care that one of their chicks was smaller than the others, it got fed the same way, and the parents let them all dictate how much they ate.  At no stage, did I see them charting how much each chick had eaten that day, and calculating whether that was enough based upon their weight.  It just made me think that we should relax a little bit, take comfort from the fact that we knew Milly, could see how she was developing, and were getting good at giving her what she needed.  Trust in our instincts.  Elaine and I actually had a discussion about the virtues of relying on instincts, in which I said that humans had raised children in caves for thousands of years, so there must be something inherent within us that makes sure that we provide whatever is necessary.  Don’t get me wrong, we were not discussing a radical overhaul of what we were doing, we just found it interesting thinking about how approaches had changed.

The very same weekend that we were talking about this, was the same one when it rained pretty much constantly.  I remember looking at the falcons on the webcam and seeing the mother sat on the nest looking wetter than I have ever seen a bird (there is a picture on the falcon blog if you select it from the above link).  The next day we found out that 2 of the baby falcons had died due to the extreme weather.  A couple of days later, a third one died.  It was pretty sad viewing over that week, the parents seemed to pick the strongest chick and focused their attention on it, giving it extra food while the other survivor slowly faded away.  All because their instincts told them to do this.  As you can imagine, this gave me a renewed appreciation for raising a baby with the learned experiences of medical professionals, and generations that have gone before.  The advice is there for a reason, there are some scenarios that you can’t be prepared for, and a little extra guidance is needed, like what to do when a six-week premature baby can’t cope with food.  In a world where all we have are instincts, we wouldn’t have a baby and I wouldn’t writing this blog, chances are I wouldn’t have a wife now either!!  I take comfort in knowing that our instincts as parents have often been right, we have been able to give what Milly needed when she wanted it.  But it is also nice to know that we have that safety net behind us, just in case.

Food, Food, Glorious Food...

...Well mushed up food really!!  Milly's first tentative steps along the weaning process have gone very well.  She has moved on from a bit of baby rice in the morning, to trying some fruit and vegetables, to establishing 3 meals a day, to now having proper little meals for her dinner.  She is taking it all in her stride, as she does everything really.  We had been prepared for her to reject the idea of taking food from a spoon, to spit everything out, and to not like anything.  But she has been willing to give everything a go, and eats most thing that we put in front of her.  She obviously has her favourites, but she tucks everything away and always seems willing to have more.  There does seem to be one stand out favourite though.  Banana porridge.  When this is on the menu, Milly gets very excited indeed, and banana porridge seems to have become the yardstick by which everything else gets measured.  There are even some days when it seems as if Milly thinks that every bowl of food contains banana porridge.  She sees the bowl, starts getting excited, opens her mouth ready for the first spoonful, and then pulls a priceless face when it turns out to be parsnip purée.  Don't get me wrong, she likes parsnip purée, but there is a definite moment where she thinks, "this is not what I expected."


We have now reached the stage where we can start giving Milly proper meals mushed up.  We bought a couple of weaning books that are full of recipes, and I'm not joking when I say that she will be eating better than us!!!  Last week, we spent a day making up 4 different recipes that covered most of the bases.  Over the next few days, Milly will be trying Cauliflower Cheese, Chicken and Parsnip, Beef and Sweet Potato, and Salmon and Pea.  The preparation of these meals involved a lot of dicing, slicing, sautéing, boiling, and finally blitzing.  What was remarkable, however, is that no matter what the ingredients were, by the the time they had been through the blender, they were all pretty much the same colour.  It was good fun though, and the food was smelling good as it simmered away, it didn't taste bad either.  Over the last few weeks, it has been great fun watching Milly get to grips with meal times.  She is loving her high chair, even joining everyone at the dinner table for Easter lunch, and watching her expressions when she tries new flavours is often amusing.  However, the downside to all this is the nervous tension created by the smallest cough.  A tiny little splutter and we are anxiously waiting to hear if she is breathing OK, or starting to choke.  Luckily this has not happened, but Milly is clearly a lot more relaxed than we are!!!

Next week, we have to take Milly to the hospital for her 6 month review.  By the time the appointment comes around, she will be 7 months, but that is not important apparently because she is not considered to be a high risk baby.  The review involves watching Milly play so the Doctor can see how she has developed, and determine whether she has any learning difficulties due to her eagerness to be a September child, rather than a November one.  If all goes well, Milly will be discharged from the hospital’s care after this appointment, or they can request to see her at 12 months.  In my opinion, biased as it may be, Milly is doing fine.  She is doing the things that she should be at her age (not her adjusted age).  She is becoming very dextrous, manipulating objects with her fingers and passing them from hand to hand, she can roll over from her back to her front and back again (when she wants too), she is getting closer to being able to support herself sitting up, and she has started to play hiding games.  The hiding game is a new one.  On Saturday she was laid on her back holding a muslin square over her face and then pulling it away.  Each time she did this, we shouted “Boo,” making her smile.  The more she did it, the more we shouted, and the more she smiled.  Endless fun.  According to all the information that we have read, Milly is doing these things exactly when she should be.  You only have to look in her eyes to see how alive she is, and see that she is working everything out.  At meal times, we give her a spoon to play with to get her used to holding one while she eats.  She has already figured how to manipulate it so that she can get the right end in her mouth.  I think that is pretty smart.  Despite all of this though, I still feel a bit nervous about the hospital appointment.  Logically, I know that she is fine and the doctors will see that.  I also know that she is a little show off, who likes nothing better that performing in front of people.  I’ll just be happier when they say we don’t have to go back any more.

Daddy is Still Learning

It is a while since my last blog.  One of reasons for this – aside from watching too much sport on my days off – is that I wasn’t sure what I wanted to write about.  My initial intention in writing this blog, was to describe the experiences of being a first-time Dad, and relate the things that I have learned along the way.  I haven’t quite lived up to that brief at the moment, partly because I have been keen to avoid clichéd anecdotes, but also because Milly has provided me with plenty of other things to discuss so that I haven’t really had to discuss how I’m finding the transition to fatherhood.  So, as Milly approaches the 6 month mark, I figure that it is time for an assessment of Daddy – I’m not sure that I’m going to come off very well at the end of this!!!

Since returning to work at the end of my paternity leave, the one thing that I looked forward to every night was coming home and having a cuddle with Milly.  Every night, after her last feed, she would lie on my chest, wriggle until she had got herself comfy, and fall asleep.  Needless to say, this was my favourite part of parenthood.  The fact that my little girl felt safe and secure with me felt great, and I used to love just letting her lie on me.  This was our special little routine that we each shared with each other at the end of every day. 

One thing about Milly is that she hates to be confined.  If she feels that she is in anyway constricted, then she lets us know about it.  This was noted when Elaine took her out in the carry cot.  She HATED it!  She screamed, and shook herself!  It was not good.  This meant that as soon as she started to fill her Moses basket, she became less comfortable in there.  So we took the decision to move her into her own room and let her sleep in her cot.  The ease in which she falls to sleep in her cot made us realise that she had been frustrated in her Moses basket for a while.  Despite the move, Milly and I continued our bedtime routine, and when she fell asleep, I would move her to her cot.  This continued until a couple of weeks ago.  The more alert that Milly has become, the more she seems to enjoy our company.  When I arrive home from work, she is always excited to see me and eager for a cuddle.  However, her eagerness to see me is coupled with a desire to play just when she should be getting ready for bed.  The result of this is that she no longer wants to cuddle up and go to sleep, but wants to play.  This makes me the bad guy for not letting her play, and makes Milly cry at the merest suggestion that it is time to settle down.  Her bedtime routine now consists of putting her in her cot under her mobile and letting her fall asleep of her own accord, which usually happens after 10 minutes.  This is good.  We have not made her dependent upon us to cuddle her to sleep.  But I miss our cuddles.  It actually made me quite sad that Milly no longer wanted to end the day this way, but also proud that already she is an independent little girl, that will settle down in her cot on her own, and who just wants to play with Daddy when he gets in from work.

As with all babies, Milly is prone to the odd ‘grisly’ day.  These have become more frequent since she has begun teething.  When these days fell on the weekend, I found myself getting frustrated at not being able to comfort her.  I am not proud of my reaction.  I found myself wanting to hand Milly over to Elaine and feeling sorry for myself because Milly didn’t seem happy in my company.  I know that this is not the case at all, but it is honestly how I felt.  I had been to work all week, looking forward to the weekend and playing with Milly, and it felt bad to be confronted with a baby who could only be calmed by her Mum.  While I knew that Milly was teething, it didn’t occur to me that this was the problem, choosing instead to blame myself for not knowing what she liked to do.  I am happy to say that I did come to my senses eventually, and realised that I just needed to be more patient and learn to listen to what Milly was trying to tell me in her own way.  Admittedly this was helped by a week off work, in which I was able to spend plenty of time with Milly, and figure out how to sooth her when she was unhappy, how she liked to play, when she needed to have a nap, and the difference between her being full and just messing with her bottle.  What I found strange was, that, until my week off, I hadn’t felt like I had lost touch with Milly.  I had seen her in the mornings and the evenings, and we seemed to get on well, but I guess that I had started to miss a few little things by not being around during the day, and these gradually built up until I felt like I didn’t know what to do again.  This is something that I wasn’t expecting, but it is something that I will be prepared for in the future.

Asides from my parental failings, Milly has had an exciting couple of weeks.  She has started to have baby rice in the mornings, which she seems to enjoy, and we have just started to give her some vegetable mush in the evenings.  The vegetable mush has had varying results – the sweet potato went down a treat…the broccoli didn’t!! – but Milly is getting used to taking food from a spoon, and seems to have fun in the process.  We also bought her a high chair, which has gone down well.  She likes being able to sit up and have look around, she likes to know what’s going on and that she is not missing out on anything!!!

Some More Firsts

As Milly nears the 5 month mark, she has started to add a few new tricks to her burgeoning repertoire of cuteness.  It doesn't seem too long ago that this was restricted to the occasional, well-timed goo, or pulling a quizzical face as she was ponders the meaning of the garbage that we speak to her!!  But in recent weeks, her personality has really started to shine through.  She seems to smile all the time now whenever she's with Elaine or I, she talks to her toys, shouts at whichever one of us is sleeping during her feeding time, and points her finger at you to let you know that she is not impressed.  But last week the icing on the cake came when she laughed for the first time.  It seems to really tickle her when Elaine or I laugh, and that sparked a little giggle from Milly.  She first did it for Elaine, so the following day I was prepared and was able to catch a short video of it. Great fun.  What has also become apparent in the last few weeks is just how strong she is becoming.  Her neck is now strong enough that she can be picked up without supporting her head, and she can sit up with support and have a good look around.  Her latest favourite game is being rocked backwards and forwards while having 'Row, Row, Row your Boat' sung to her.  This is definitely a favourite game, because if you dare not to row with her, she lets you know about it by pulling you and moving herself backwards and forwards!!!

As I have written previously, both Elaine and I have dreaded Milly's first bouts of illness.  With all the things that we were told, we had taken precautions to ensure that we didn't expose her to any unnecessary germs.  It even got to the stage where you begin to worry that you're being over protective and actually doing more harm than good by not letting her immune system develop.  This is no longer a concern, as Milly caught her first cold a couple of weeks ago.  It was actually rather uneventful really.  She was really snotty, leading to some colourful sneezes, and she had a couple of days where breathing sounded like it was a struggle.  But it didn't really bother Milly, she carried on regardless and got over it quickly, sharing it with her Mummy and Daddy along the way!  This has been quickly followed, however, with her first tummy bug.  She caught this one off Elaine and I, despite our best efforts to keep it from her.  She has not been so happy with this one, with her feeding amounts dropping, and her general mood not being great.  The tricky thing with the bug is that we are left guessing how she might feel by how it affected us, which means she won't feel great.  But she seems to be on the mend now, however she is just a little more tired than normal.  But that is true of us too.  Luckily the remedy that was effective for us has also worked for Milly, staying in bed watching Comic-book films!!!  I'm sure that those of you reading this with children will not be surprised about any of this, knowing that Milly's first illness would probably not be a big deal.  But no matter how many people suggested that this would be the case, it was hard not to think that Milly could have been in the minority of children that don't have a "regulation" first illness.  I guess that is a feeling that we will get used to!!

Over the last few weeks, Milly has taken a particular liking to chewing her own fist, as all babies start to do at some point.  Her fondness for this seems to be coupled with her  desire to see just how far she can reach down her own throat, which has had the expected result on a number of occasions.  We are hopeful that these are not the first tentative steps towards a modelling career, but actually the first signs that she is getting ready to start weaning.  There have been a few other signs.  She seems willing to put anything in her mouth, she has started chewing, rather than sucking, her dummy, she is drooling a lot, and she is getting close to being able to sit up.  Given that over the past few days Milly has also had really rosy cheeks, it may also mean that she has started teething, although I'm not sure that she is in too much discomfort at the moment.  The whole weaning process is another thing that is giving us a dilemma due to Milly being 6 weeks early (apologies  if I am sounding repetitive!!).  Milly's actual age (20 weeks) is old enough for us to try her on some baby rice.  But her amended age (14 weeks) is too young.  I feel that in this case, we have to follow the amended age because we have to consider the physical implications of the size of her stomach.  There is only so much she will be able to fit in there.  With Milly seeming to be content with her milk, I think that we will leave her a few more weeks.  It won’t be long now though, and I'm sure she will much rather be sat in her high chair at the table with us at dinner time, so she can see what we are all up to and join in with the conversation!!!

A Head Full of Advice

When Milly was weighed just before Christmas, we asked for a little advice.  When Milly was discharged from the hospital, we were told all kinds of things that it has been hard to forget.  “Don’t let her go more than 5 hours without a feed.”  “Don’t feed her for more than 30 minutes.”  “Make sure her temperature is right, if not she’ll burn energy warming herself up, and then be too tired to feed.”  This advice came from the very skilled, and professional staff at the NICU.  And when they tell you something, especially as first time parents, you listen to it, and carry out those instructions as diligently as possible.  At least, that is what we have done.  While Milly was in the NICU, one of the criteria for her being discharged was whether she was demanding food, a very important part of being a baby is the ability to let people know that you are hungry.  Milly had no problem with this, she never really screamed the place down, but always woke up and became agitated around food time.  This was a good thing, and we were told that we could continue demand feeding.  It is here that I come to the first conflict in the advice that we were given:

•          We are supposed to feed Milly when she demands it, but don’t let her go longer than 5 hours.

The problem with this comes when we have to feed through the night.  In the run up to Christmas, it was becoming increasingly difficult to rouse Milly.  As soon as she fell asleep after 8pm, we would normally have to wake her up for a feed, which never really went well as she never really woke up for it.  It is this that we wanted to get some advice on, knowing that at some point, Milly would drop a feed and start sleeping longer at night – well that’s the theory!!

The day before we took Milly to get weighed, she had her second round of Jabs.  After the first time, and the confusion over the Calpol, we asked the nurse about the correct dosage to give Milly seeing as she had been premature and, at that stage, we didn’t know if she was over 4kg.  The answer we got was reassuring.  We were told that Milly was to be considered as a normal 12 week old baby (again, at that time) and we could follow the directions given on the box.  As it turned out, she didn’t have a bad reaction, and we didn’t feel the need to give her any Calpol. 

On the day that Milly got weighed, we asked our question, “Is it ok to let Milly sleep longer at night, and feed her when she wakes?”  We were told that this was OK, and Milly would wake up when she was hungry.  We were quite happy with this , after all it is what we thought that we should be doing anyway.  However, the first couple of nights, Milly didn’t wake up.  She was soundly asleep.  Elaine and I were not.  We lay awake after 5 hours, waiting for Milly to stir and to feed her.  We eventually decided to wake her up at 6 hours because we felt that she shouldn’t go that long through the night without a feed.  At this stage, it was causing us some concern, so we consulted the ‘baby bible’ that every family is given the first time that the Health Visitor comes to check up on you.  In this, it said that some babies at 3 months will start to sleep for 8 hours at night!!  We were quite happy to read this, and actually considered that we were lucky that Milly seemed to want to sleep for longer.  Over the next couple of weeks Milly’s sleep pattern eventually settled, and, on average, she was sleeping for about 6 hours through the night.  It took her a little while to get used to only having 5 feeds also, and the daily amounts that she was taking dropped a little.  But eventually they started to increase, although not to level they had been at previously. 

When we took Milly to be weighed earlier this month, her weight had gone up to 9lb 11oz.  While this was a good increase, it wasn’t as big as it we had expected it to be, or as big as the growth charts said that it should be.  Again, this caused Elaine and I some concern, and we called our Health Visitor to ask if this was ok, and if we were still doing the right thing.  At this point, we were told that ‘early’ babies don’t really grow at the same rate as ‘term’ babies, and that we shouldn’t worry too much about the growth charts.  We were also told that the advice we had been given about dropping a feed through the night, was good, but not really for Milly because she is small.  Apparently we should have been told not to let Milly go more than 6 hours through the night without a feed, or 4 hours through the day.  As an ‘early’ baby, it is important that we keep her calories up, especially as she becomes more active through the day (and she is definitely becoming more active through the day!!!).  So now we get to the second contradiction in the advice that we had been given:

•          We should no longer think of Milly as a premature baby, treat her as a normal healthy baby.  But we should feed her every 4 hours (even if that means waking her up) because she is an early baby.

As I write this, I realise that this blog seems to be a bit of a whinge, and what I am describing as contradictions seem like reasonable exceptions to the advice we had been given.  But I am being honest, and trying to explain how we interpreted everything that we had been told.  As you can see from the pictures that I post along with this blog, Milly is clearly growing, is happy, and is becoming more alert.  So we must be doing something right!!!  Our new mantra is now: “If Milly is happy, then we’re happy.”  Sometimes it is easier said than done though.

Christmas with Milly

I have always thought that I was quite pragmatic.  Often, I would say that it helps me to keep things in perspective, but occasionally I think I let myself take the joy out of some experiences by over-thinking them.  Christmas is a good example of this.  I have always thought that it was weird when parents get carried away with the idea of Christmas for a baby.  Babies have no idea what is going on, and the pile of presents that they receive is a meaningless array of brightly coloured parcels.  It is from this thinking that I always thought that when Christmas came around, we would just continue to buy Milly just whatever she needed, a few toys, books, clothes, etc.  Things that we would have bought for her regardless of the time of year.  We even discussed whether we should wrap up her presents.  At the end of the day, we will be the ones undoing them.  In that case, does it make it selfish that the idea of having extra presents to open makes the idea appealing???

As we have planned this Christmas with Milly, I realise that I have got it all wrong.  Come Christmas Day, it is true that Milly will have no idea what is happening and will treat it as any other day, only requiring the critical trifecta of food, sleep, and a fresh nappy.  She might notice that there are a few more people looking at her, but for all intents and purposes, it will be just another day.  But, what I have realised is that a day will come when she thinks that Christmas is the most exciting day of the year, and after that, a time when she will want to know how she spent her first Christmas.  How miserable would we sound if all we could say is that we didn’t bother because she was too young.  I haven’t got the heart to do that, the thought of it makes me quite sad really.  So, everything will be wrapped, and we will make sure that there is a photo taken of Milly surrounded by all of her presents that can be tucked away into her memory box.  We have also purchased a little Christmassy jumper that she can wear on the day, which I am sure she will look incredibly cute in, well she does in everything else!!!

With this being our third year of having to buy presents for young children, thanks to our nephews, we were not surprised by the variety of things that we could have bought for Milly.  It would have been very easy to get carried away and spend A LOT of money (this is something that is not just restricted to Christmas, and that I am very guilty of!!), but we have tried to be practical and restrict ourselves to buying things that we think are fun, and that will help her development over the next year.  It was also important that we didn’t buy too much.  As Milly is approaching 3 months, most of the toys that we have bought for her are yet to played with.  To be honest she has only really started to look at them when she has her play time, but it won’t be long before she is grabbing exactly what she wants.  This is something that started to become clear over the last few weeks while Elaine has been playing with her.  Milly has started to identify a few favourite toys and reach out towards them, following the same toys as they are moved around.  But, it must be said, one of her favourite games at the moment seems to be spitting out her dummy and watching Daddy come and fetch it.  Every time that this happens, she has the cheekiest little grin on her face that makes it all worthwhile.  That  said, over the whole Christmas period I noticed that she has been smiling more and more, and I have learned how to make her smile myself (she likes her cheek tickled!!!), and her smile is so big and accompanied by some of the most excited noises, that it can only be a matter of time before she is laughing.  But then, in general, it is noticeable that she seems to be a lot more engaged with us in everything she does and she has started to make some new noises, and having conversations with herself.  All exciting developments. 

Over the Christmas break Milly also had her first round of follow-up jabs (reacting a little better this time) and we took her to get weighed, reaching the giddy weight of 8lbs 15oz.  This was of course before Christmas, so I expect that she has now sailed past 9lbs, after a couple of weeks of Christmas pudding and mince pies!!!  As for me, the best present I got this Christmas was being able to enjoy plenty of playtime with Milly and figuring out a game that we both enjoy.  Oh…and a waffle iron!!!!!  

The Jabs!!

The starting of a new job has meant that this latest edition to the blog has been delayed longer than I had intended.  For this I apologise, I’m not sure to whom, but I apologise nonetheless.

 

As the title this week suggests, Milly has been for her first course of injections.  Elaine and I were a little apprehensive about taking her into the Doctor’s waiting room full of nasty germs, but we found a quiet corner that we were able to conceal ourselves in (I promise that we are not as paranoid as I make us sound!!), until we were called into see the Doctor.  I thought that we would be straight in, check Milly over, give her the Jabs, and then go home.  I was wrong.  The checking of Milly was a bit more intensive than I imagined, and was actually reassuringly thorough.  He checked her spine, hips, reaction to light, sucking reflex, listened to her heart, and felt her tummy.  Everything was going perfectly, each test met with positive comments, until the Doctor asked if we had noticed a little lump, just above Milly’s bellybutton.  It is something that has been there since she was born.  Every Doctor and Nurse that has examined her has had every chance to see it, but none of them ever mentioned it, nor has it ever really bothered Milly.  For this reason, we had just assumed that it was fine, nothing to be concerned about, just a normal part of a new born baby.  Apparently not.  Well…we don’t need to be concerned exactly, but if it still there by the time she is 6 months then she might need a small operation.  I’m still not sure which part of this we are not supposed to worry about!!!  I think the problem comes from it now having a name – a periumbilical hernia.  Until this point I had just considered it a small bobble on Milly’s belly, but now I feel compelled to check it every time I change a nappy!!

Despite all of this, Milly, as usual, seemed to be quite happy throughout the checkup.  Merrily looking around the room, taking everything in her stride.  This continued as we were directed down the corridor, to the nurses room, for the injections.  During her stay in the NICU, Milly had endured all sorts of probing procedures.  Being ‘heel pricked’ a number of times, vitamin k injection, 2 drips in her arm, and a tube up her nose, not to mention the variety of monitors attached to her at any one time.  All of this, she dealt with the minimum of fuss, even pulling out her own tubes when she had tired of them (which I have already mentioned).  This gave me the naïve impression that just a couple of injections wouldn’t be a big deal for her.  I was wrong.  Very wrong!!  It wasn’t the fact that she cried that bothered me most, it was the look of utter betrayal on her face.  One minute she was perfectly happy, enjoying a cuddle from mummy.  The next, we allowed some stranger to stick sharp needles into her legs.  She was not happy!!  Nor will she be in a couple of weeks when we go for the follow up jabs.  I have one complaint about the whole experience, however.  As we left, we were given a sheet explaining the potential side effects and what we could do to alleviate any symptoms.  The only symptom that Milly suffered was a slight fever later that afternoon.  The information that we had been provided said that we could give her Calpol, which Elaine fetched.  Luckily, Elaine read the directions before giving it to Milly, as it is not suitable for babies born before 35 weeks, or under 4kg.  Both criteria, Milly fails to meet.  Upon calling the Doctor for some clarification, Elaine was met with a haughty receptionist who failed to understand what Elaine was explaining and told her that is common for new mums to be overprotective!!  In my experience, I have found that it is common for Doctor’s receptionist to be self-important busy-bodies!!!!!!!!!!!  As it turns out, the Doctor doesn’t really know the answer either, and we are waiting to find out what we can do when she actually becomes ill.  I’m guessing, by then she’ll be big enough to cope.

I’m ending this blog with a story from the delivery room when Milly was born.  I have told some people as it has occurred to me, but I don’t always remember, so I wanted to add to the blog to protect the memory!!  The day Milly was born, was my first experience of being in an operating theatre.  I was dressed in scrubs, and made aware that I had to be careful not to touch anything in order to maintain the sterile environment.  Due to Elaine’s condition, and Milly’s early arrival, there were a lot of people in the operating theatre to take care of them both (it seemed a lot to me, but I admittedly have no frame of reference!!).  Each person seemed to have a specific job including a nurse who took the time to tell me where I could stand and eventually sit, an what not to touch (which was everything!!).  This nurse also had a more important job, she had to stand in a specific place to make sure that the radio reception was clear.  This became apparent every time that she moved, as all the staff in the room would moan because the signal would disappear (I would suggest that there were more important to be concerned about at that point, but this seemed to be close to the top of their list!!).  In the unfolding events over the next few minutes, I didn’t notice that the radio was on.  Due to a large curtain, I could not see anything but could hear an awful lot of activity leading up to the safe delivery of our little girl.  When Milly had been wrapped up, I was asked if I wanted to hold her, which of course I did.  As the nurse placed her in my arms, I became aware that it was Radio Nottingham playing in the background and the 3 o’clock news had just finished, and then a song started playing.  The soundtrack to my first cuddle with my daughter was 'My Girl' by The Temptations.  Perfect really!!!