Parenting by Google

The other week was a big week for Milly.  Monday November 7^th was her due date, meaning that, if she had gone full-term, she would be just over a week old.  I may have already mentioned that the last time that she was weighed, she had reached the dizzying weight of 5lbs 11oz.  This was a couple of weeks ago now, and at the rate that she was putting weight on, there is a good chance that she could be pushing 7lbs by now, which sounds like a healthy weight for a newborn baby.  We will find out this week if our guessing is accurate or not, when the health visitor comes to check her.  (Actually we were wrong.  She passed 7lbs, weighing in at 7lbs 4oz!!!)

Since Milly’s arrival was a little earlier than expected, there were some things that I didn’t get to do before her birth.  Little things, like reading through various books to get an idea of the requirements of caring for a new baby.  What are the sleeping patterns?  How often do they feed?  How much should they be fed?  How often should you change nappies?  A lot of these things were common sense (I know now!!), but none-the-less, they were things that I wanted to know before she arrived so I was, at least a little bit, prepared.  Now I know what I’m like, there is every chance that as Milly’s due date approached, my good intentions would have been pushed aside in favour of watching football, playing PlayStation, or just sleeping.  But we will never know as fate had other intentions, allowing me to claim the high ground and say that I would have been fully informed, and as prepared as possible.

Some of the gaps (gaping gaps!!) in my child care knowledge were filled in by the intensive “parent crafting” that we had to complete while Milly was in the NICU. A lot of it, however, just came from the experience of looking after her and learning her routines.  There were some other things that hadn’t occurred to me that I might need to know.  For example: new babies breathe predominantly through their noses and have to learn to breathe through their mouths.  As such, they get quite snuffly in the nasal region, and can require a little assistance to clear the airways.  This, again, is one of those things that has a very simple solution, but hearing your baby having discomfort while breathing is not a pleasant experience for the first few days!!!


This is where I have found comfort in the endless answers that can be provided by Google.  The concern over Milly's immune system added to the desire to find out if it was normal for babies to sneeze often (this seemed to significantly increase once we'd got her home!!), as it has many things.  Google was able to ease these concerns by directing us to web pages telling  us that it was normal.  Other guidance provided by Google was the regularity of a baby's bowels!!  It is surprising just how interested you become in the contents of a baby's nappy, particularly when there seems to have been a glaring omission for a couple of days, poo!!  Once again, Google was able to give us the information that allowed us to sleep peacefully, safe in the knowledge that the regularity of a baby pooing can be somewhat irregular!!  You will be pleased to know, however, that this issue has sorted itself, even if Milly does prefer to have an audience!!! (That's a story for another day).  Some of the questions we have asked Google (most of which seem like silly questions as I read the history know!!!) include:

• What foods should be avoided when breast feeding?
• Are babies noisy when sleeping?
• Can you warm breast milk straight from the fridge?
• How do I know if my baby needs winding?
• How serious is a cold for a premature baby?

As great as it has been to have an electronic baby manual at our disposal, this final question introduced me to the perils of using Google in this way, as it introduces you to every permutation of an infection known to man.  It also introduces you to a host of concerned parents worried that their children are suffering from every permutation of an infection known to man.  Once such permutation is something that I have suffered from (apparently), as has everyone in the first 2 years of their life.  This is a virus called Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV).  The description of this (according to http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov) is, "... a very common virus that leads to mild, cold-like symptoms in adults and older healthy children. It can be more serious in young babies,   especially to those in certain high-risk groups."  In my initial searches for information on the seriousness of a cold for Milly, I came across RSV time and time again, with each one explaining ever more concerning problems that it can cause.  The worst stuff came from parents forums (I know, I shouldn't have looked!!), from people getting really scared for their children, and amateur medics providing half-truths and worst-case scenarios.  It was enough to make you never want to leave the house and install a sterile sheep dip for anyone with the audacity to want to visit!!!  It did however lead me to an important realisation, I don't want to live like that.  Milly will get ill.  This cannot be avoided.  We will continue to use good basic hygiene to prevent unnecessary infections, but we will take her out and let people hold her.  Life is for living, they say.  Who are we to stop Milly experiencing hers now?

...until she gets that first cold, then everyone will be blamed, and no one will touch her again!!!