Daddy is Still Learning

It is a while since my last blog.  One of reasons for this – aside from watching too much sport on my days off – is that I wasn’t sure what I wanted to write about.  My initial intention in writing this blog, was to describe the experiences of being a first-time Dad, and relate the things that I have learned along the way.  I haven’t quite lived up to that brief at the moment, partly because I have been keen to avoid clichéd anecdotes, but also because Milly has provided me with plenty of other things to discuss so that I haven’t really had to discuss how I’m finding the transition to fatherhood.  So, as Milly approaches the 6 month mark, I figure that it is time for an assessment of Daddy – I’m not sure that I’m going to come off very well at the end of this!!!

Since returning to work at the end of my paternity leave, the one thing that I looked forward to every night was coming home and having a cuddle with Milly.  Every night, after her last feed, she would lie on my chest, wriggle until she had got herself comfy, and fall asleep.  Needless to say, this was my favourite part of parenthood.  The fact that my little girl felt safe and secure with me felt great, and I used to love just letting her lie on me.  This was our special little routine that we each shared with each other at the end of every day. 

One thing about Milly is that she hates to be confined.  If she feels that she is in anyway constricted, then she lets us know about it.  This was noted when Elaine took her out in the carry cot.  She HATED it!  She screamed, and shook herself!  It was not good.  This meant that as soon as she started to fill her Moses basket, she became less comfortable in there.  So we took the decision to move her into her own room and let her sleep in her cot.  The ease in which she falls to sleep in her cot made us realise that she had been frustrated in her Moses basket for a while.  Despite the move, Milly and I continued our bedtime routine, and when she fell asleep, I would move her to her cot.  This continued until a couple of weeks ago.  The more alert that Milly has become, the more she seems to enjoy our company.  When I arrive home from work, she is always excited to see me and eager for a cuddle.  However, her eagerness to see me is coupled with a desire to play just when she should be getting ready for bed.  The result of this is that she no longer wants to cuddle up and go to sleep, but wants to play.  This makes me the bad guy for not letting her play, and makes Milly cry at the merest suggestion that it is time to settle down.  Her bedtime routine now consists of putting her in her cot under her mobile and letting her fall asleep of her own accord, which usually happens after 10 minutes.  This is good.  We have not made her dependent upon us to cuddle her to sleep.  But I miss our cuddles.  It actually made me quite sad that Milly no longer wanted to end the day this way, but also proud that already she is an independent little girl, that will settle down in her cot on her own, and who just wants to play with Daddy when he gets in from work.

As with all babies, Milly is prone to the odd ‘grisly’ day.  These have become more frequent since she has begun teething.  When these days fell on the weekend, I found myself getting frustrated at not being able to comfort her.  I am not proud of my reaction.  I found myself wanting to hand Milly over to Elaine and feeling sorry for myself because Milly didn’t seem happy in my company.  I know that this is not the case at all, but it is honestly how I felt.  I had been to work all week, looking forward to the weekend and playing with Milly, and it felt bad to be confronted with a baby who could only be calmed by her Mum.  While I knew that Milly was teething, it didn’t occur to me that this was the problem, choosing instead to blame myself for not knowing what she liked to do.  I am happy to say that I did come to my senses eventually, and realised that I just needed to be more patient and learn to listen to what Milly was trying to tell me in her own way.  Admittedly this was helped by a week off work, in which I was able to spend plenty of time with Milly, and figure out how to sooth her when she was unhappy, how she liked to play, when she needed to have a nap, and the difference between her being full and just messing with her bottle.  What I found strange was, that, until my week off, I hadn’t felt like I had lost touch with Milly.  I had seen her in the mornings and the evenings, and we seemed to get on well, but I guess that I had started to miss a few little things by not being around during the day, and these gradually built up until I felt like I didn’t know what to do again.  This is something that I wasn’t expecting, but it is something that I will be prepared for in the future.

Asides from my parental failings, Milly has had an exciting couple of weeks.  She has started to have baby rice in the mornings, which she seems to enjoy, and we have just started to give her some vegetable mush in the evenings.  The vegetable mush has had varying results – the sweet potato went down a treat…the broccoli didn’t!! – but Milly is getting used to taking food from a spoon, and seems to have fun in the process.  We also bought her a high chair, which has gone down well.  She likes being able to sit up and have look around, she likes to know what’s going on and that she is not missing out on anything!!!

Some More Firsts

As Milly nears the 5 month mark, she has started to add a few new tricks to her burgeoning repertoire of cuteness.  It doesn't seem too long ago that this was restricted to the occasional, well-timed goo, or pulling a quizzical face as she was ponders the meaning of the garbage that we speak to her!!  But in recent weeks, her personality has really started to shine through.  She seems to smile all the time now whenever she's with Elaine or I, she talks to her toys, shouts at whichever one of us is sleeping during her feeding time, and points her finger at you to let you know that she is not impressed.  But last week the icing on the cake came when she laughed for the first time.  It seems to really tickle her when Elaine or I laugh, and that sparked a little giggle from Milly.  She first did it for Elaine, so the following day I was prepared and was able to catch a short video of it. Great fun.  What has also become apparent in the last few weeks is just how strong she is becoming.  Her neck is now strong enough that she can be picked up without supporting her head, and she can sit up with support and have a good look around.  Her latest favourite game is being rocked backwards and forwards while having 'Row, Row, Row your Boat' sung to her.  This is definitely a favourite game, because if you dare not to row with her, she lets you know about it by pulling you and moving herself backwards and forwards!!!

As I have written previously, both Elaine and I have dreaded Milly's first bouts of illness.  With all the things that we were told, we had taken precautions to ensure that we didn't expose her to any unnecessary germs.  It even got to the stage where you begin to worry that you're being over protective and actually doing more harm than good by not letting her immune system develop.  This is no longer a concern, as Milly caught her first cold a couple of weeks ago.  It was actually rather uneventful really.  She was really snotty, leading to some colourful sneezes, and she had a couple of days where breathing sounded like it was a struggle.  But it didn't really bother Milly, she carried on regardless and got over it quickly, sharing it with her Mummy and Daddy along the way!  This has been quickly followed, however, with her first tummy bug.  She caught this one off Elaine and I, despite our best efforts to keep it from her.  She has not been so happy with this one, with her feeding amounts dropping, and her general mood not being great.  The tricky thing with the bug is that we are left guessing how she might feel by how it affected us, which means she won't feel great.  But she seems to be on the mend now, however she is just a little more tired than normal.  But that is true of us too.  Luckily the remedy that was effective for us has also worked for Milly, staying in bed watching Comic-book films!!!  I'm sure that those of you reading this with children will not be surprised about any of this, knowing that Milly's first illness would probably not be a big deal.  But no matter how many people suggested that this would be the case, it was hard not to think that Milly could have been in the minority of children that don't have a "regulation" first illness.  I guess that is a feeling that we will get used to!!

Over the last few weeks, Milly has taken a particular liking to chewing her own fist, as all babies start to do at some point.  Her fondness for this seems to be coupled with her  desire to see just how far she can reach down her own throat, which has had the expected result on a number of occasions.  We are hopeful that these are not the first tentative steps towards a modelling career, but actually the first signs that she is getting ready to start weaning.  There have been a few other signs.  She seems willing to put anything in her mouth, she has started chewing, rather than sucking, her dummy, she is drooling a lot, and she is getting close to being able to sit up.  Given that over the past few days Milly has also had really rosy cheeks, it may also mean that she has started teething, although I'm not sure that she is in too much discomfort at the moment.  The whole weaning process is another thing that is giving us a dilemma due to Milly being 6 weeks early (apologies  if I am sounding repetitive!!).  Milly's actual age (20 weeks) is old enough for us to try her on some baby rice.  But her amended age (14 weeks) is too young.  I feel that in this case, we have to follow the amended age because we have to consider the physical implications of the size of her stomach.  There is only so much she will be able to fit in there.  With Milly seeming to be content with her milk, I think that we will leave her a few more weeks.  It won’t be long now though, and I'm sure she will much rather be sat in her high chair at the table with us at dinner time, so she can see what we are all up to and join in with the conversation!!!

A Head Full of Advice

When Milly was weighed just before Christmas, we asked for a little advice.  When Milly was discharged from the hospital, we were told all kinds of things that it has been hard to forget.  “Don’t let her go more than 5 hours without a feed.”  “Don’t feed her for more than 30 minutes.”  “Make sure her temperature is right, if not she’ll burn energy warming herself up, and then be too tired to feed.”  This advice came from the very skilled, and professional staff at the NICU.  And when they tell you something, especially as first time parents, you listen to it, and carry out those instructions as diligently as possible.  At least, that is what we have done.  While Milly was in the NICU, one of the criteria for her being discharged was whether she was demanding food, a very important part of being a baby is the ability to let people know that you are hungry.  Milly had no problem with this, she never really screamed the place down, but always woke up and became agitated around food time.  This was a good thing, and we were told that we could continue demand feeding.  It is here that I come to the first conflict in the advice that we were given:

•          We are supposed to feed Milly when she demands it, but don’t let her go longer than 5 hours.

The problem with this comes when we have to feed through the night.  In the run up to Christmas, it was becoming increasingly difficult to rouse Milly.  As soon as she fell asleep after 8pm, we would normally have to wake her up for a feed, which never really went well as she never really woke up for it.  It is this that we wanted to get some advice on, knowing that at some point, Milly would drop a feed and start sleeping longer at night – well that’s the theory!!

The day before we took Milly to get weighed, she had her second round of Jabs.  After the first time, and the confusion over the Calpol, we asked the nurse about the correct dosage to give Milly seeing as she had been premature and, at that stage, we didn’t know if she was over 4kg.  The answer we got was reassuring.  We were told that Milly was to be considered as a normal 12 week old baby (again, at that time) and we could follow the directions given on the box.  As it turned out, she didn’t have a bad reaction, and we didn’t feel the need to give her any Calpol. 

On the day that Milly got weighed, we asked our question, “Is it ok to let Milly sleep longer at night, and feed her when she wakes?”  We were told that this was OK, and Milly would wake up when she was hungry.  We were quite happy with this , after all it is what we thought that we should be doing anyway.  However, the first couple of nights, Milly didn’t wake up.  She was soundly asleep.  Elaine and I were not.  We lay awake after 5 hours, waiting for Milly to stir and to feed her.  We eventually decided to wake her up at 6 hours because we felt that she shouldn’t go that long through the night without a feed.  At this stage, it was causing us some concern, so we consulted the ‘baby bible’ that every family is given the first time that the Health Visitor comes to check up on you.  In this, it said that some babies at 3 months will start to sleep for 8 hours at night!!  We were quite happy to read this, and actually considered that we were lucky that Milly seemed to want to sleep for longer.  Over the next couple of weeks Milly’s sleep pattern eventually settled, and, on average, she was sleeping for about 6 hours through the night.  It took her a little while to get used to only having 5 feeds also, and the daily amounts that she was taking dropped a little.  But eventually they started to increase, although not to level they had been at previously. 

When we took Milly to be weighed earlier this month, her weight had gone up to 9lb 11oz.  While this was a good increase, it wasn’t as big as it we had expected it to be, or as big as the growth charts said that it should be.  Again, this caused Elaine and I some concern, and we called our Health Visitor to ask if this was ok, and if we were still doing the right thing.  At this point, we were told that ‘early’ babies don’t really grow at the same rate as ‘term’ babies, and that we shouldn’t worry too much about the growth charts.  We were also told that the advice we had been given about dropping a feed through the night, was good, but not really for Milly because she is small.  Apparently we should have been told not to let Milly go more than 6 hours through the night without a feed, or 4 hours through the day.  As an ‘early’ baby, it is important that we keep her calories up, especially as she becomes more active through the day (and she is definitely becoming more active through the day!!!).  So now we get to the second contradiction in the advice that we had been given:

•          We should no longer think of Milly as a premature baby, treat her as a normal healthy baby.  But we should feed her every 4 hours (even if that means waking her up) because she is an early baby.

As I write this, I realise that this blog seems to be a bit of a whinge, and what I am describing as contradictions seem like reasonable exceptions to the advice we had been given.  But I am being honest, and trying to explain how we interpreted everything that we had been told.  As you can see from the pictures that I post along with this blog, Milly is clearly growing, is happy, and is becoming more alert.  So we must be doing something right!!!  Our new mantra is now: “If Milly is happy, then we’re happy.”  Sometimes it is easier said than done though.

Christmas with Milly

I have always thought that I was quite pragmatic.  Often, I would say that it helps me to keep things in perspective, but occasionally I think I let myself take the joy out of some experiences by over-thinking them.  Christmas is a good example of this.  I have always thought that it was weird when parents get carried away with the idea of Christmas for a baby.  Babies have no idea what is going on, and the pile of presents that they receive is a meaningless array of brightly coloured parcels.  It is from this thinking that I always thought that when Christmas came around, we would just continue to buy Milly just whatever she needed, a few toys, books, clothes, etc.  Things that we would have bought for her regardless of the time of year.  We even discussed whether we should wrap up her presents.  At the end of the day, we will be the ones undoing them.  In that case, does it make it selfish that the idea of having extra presents to open makes the idea appealing???

As we have planned this Christmas with Milly, I realise that I have got it all wrong.  Come Christmas Day, it is true that Milly will have no idea what is happening and will treat it as any other day, only requiring the critical trifecta of food, sleep, and a fresh nappy.  She might notice that there are a few more people looking at her, but for all intents and purposes, it will be just another day.  But, what I have realised is that a day will come when she thinks that Christmas is the most exciting day of the year, and after that, a time when she will want to know how she spent her first Christmas.  How miserable would we sound if all we could say is that we didn’t bother because she was too young.  I haven’t got the heart to do that, the thought of it makes me quite sad really.  So, everything will be wrapped, and we will make sure that there is a photo taken of Milly surrounded by all of her presents that can be tucked away into her memory box.  We have also purchased a little Christmassy jumper that she can wear on the day, which I am sure she will look incredibly cute in, well she does in everything else!!!

With this being our third year of having to buy presents for young children, thanks to our nephews, we were not surprised by the variety of things that we could have bought for Milly.  It would have been very easy to get carried away and spend A LOT of money (this is something that is not just restricted to Christmas, and that I am very guilty of!!), but we have tried to be practical and restrict ourselves to buying things that we think are fun, and that will help her development over the next year.  It was also important that we didn’t buy too much.  As Milly is approaching 3 months, most of the toys that we have bought for her are yet to played with.  To be honest she has only really started to look at them when she has her play time, but it won’t be long before she is grabbing exactly what she wants.  This is something that started to become clear over the last few weeks while Elaine has been playing with her.  Milly has started to identify a few favourite toys and reach out towards them, following the same toys as they are moved around.  But, it must be said, one of her favourite games at the moment seems to be spitting out her dummy and watching Daddy come and fetch it.  Every time that this happens, she has the cheekiest little grin on her face that makes it all worthwhile.  That  said, over the whole Christmas period I noticed that she has been smiling more and more, and I have learned how to make her smile myself (she likes her cheek tickled!!!), and her smile is so big and accompanied by some of the most excited noises, that it can only be a matter of time before she is laughing.  But then, in general, it is noticeable that she seems to be a lot more engaged with us in everything she does and she has started to make some new noises, and having conversations with herself.  All exciting developments. 

Over the Christmas break Milly also had her first round of follow-up jabs (reacting a little better this time) and we took her to get weighed, reaching the giddy weight of 8lbs 15oz.  This was of course before Christmas, so I expect that she has now sailed past 9lbs, after a couple of weeks of Christmas pudding and mince pies!!!  As for me, the best present I got this Christmas was being able to enjoy plenty of playtime with Milly and figuring out a game that we both enjoy.  Oh…and a waffle iron!!!!!  

The Jabs!!

The starting of a new job has meant that this latest edition to the blog has been delayed longer than I had intended.  For this I apologise, I’m not sure to whom, but I apologise nonetheless.

 

As the title this week suggests, Milly has been for her first course of injections.  Elaine and I were a little apprehensive about taking her into the Doctor’s waiting room full of nasty germs, but we found a quiet corner that we were able to conceal ourselves in (I promise that we are not as paranoid as I make us sound!!), until we were called into see the Doctor.  I thought that we would be straight in, check Milly over, give her the Jabs, and then go home.  I was wrong.  The checking of Milly was a bit more intensive than I imagined, and was actually reassuringly thorough.  He checked her spine, hips, reaction to light, sucking reflex, listened to her heart, and felt her tummy.  Everything was going perfectly, each test met with positive comments, until the Doctor asked if we had noticed a little lump, just above Milly’s bellybutton.  It is something that has been there since she was born.  Every Doctor and Nurse that has examined her has had every chance to see it, but none of them ever mentioned it, nor has it ever really bothered Milly.  For this reason, we had just assumed that it was fine, nothing to be concerned about, just a normal part of a new born baby.  Apparently not.  Well…we don’t need to be concerned exactly, but if it still there by the time she is 6 months then she might need a small operation.  I’m still not sure which part of this we are not supposed to worry about!!!  I think the problem comes from it now having a name – a periumbilical hernia.  Until this point I had just considered it a small bobble on Milly’s belly, but now I feel compelled to check it every time I change a nappy!!

Despite all of this, Milly, as usual, seemed to be quite happy throughout the checkup.  Merrily looking around the room, taking everything in her stride.  This continued as we were directed down the corridor, to the nurses room, for the injections.  During her stay in the NICU, Milly had endured all sorts of probing procedures.  Being ‘heel pricked’ a number of times, vitamin k injection, 2 drips in her arm, and a tube up her nose, not to mention the variety of monitors attached to her at any one time.  All of this, she dealt with the minimum of fuss, even pulling out her own tubes when she had tired of them (which I have already mentioned).  This gave me the naïve impression that just a couple of injections wouldn’t be a big deal for her.  I was wrong.  Very wrong!!  It wasn’t the fact that she cried that bothered me most, it was the look of utter betrayal on her face.  One minute she was perfectly happy, enjoying a cuddle from mummy.  The next, we allowed some stranger to stick sharp needles into her legs.  She was not happy!!  Nor will she be in a couple of weeks when we go for the follow up jabs.  I have one complaint about the whole experience, however.  As we left, we were given a sheet explaining the potential side effects and what we could do to alleviate any symptoms.  The only symptom that Milly suffered was a slight fever later that afternoon.  The information that we had been provided said that we could give her Calpol, which Elaine fetched.  Luckily, Elaine read the directions before giving it to Milly, as it is not suitable for babies born before 35 weeks, or under 4kg.  Both criteria, Milly fails to meet.  Upon calling the Doctor for some clarification, Elaine was met with a haughty receptionist who failed to understand what Elaine was explaining and told her that is common for new mums to be overprotective!!  In my experience, I have found that it is common for Doctor’s receptionist to be self-important busy-bodies!!!!!!!!!!!  As it turns out, the Doctor doesn’t really know the answer either, and we are waiting to find out what we can do when she actually becomes ill.  I’m guessing, by then she’ll be big enough to cope.

I’m ending this blog with a story from the delivery room when Milly was born.  I have told some people as it has occurred to me, but I don’t always remember, so I wanted to add to the blog to protect the memory!!  The day Milly was born, was my first experience of being in an operating theatre.  I was dressed in scrubs, and made aware that I had to be careful not to touch anything in order to maintain the sterile environment.  Due to Elaine’s condition, and Milly’s early arrival, there were a lot of people in the operating theatre to take care of them both (it seemed a lot to me, but I admittedly have no frame of reference!!).  Each person seemed to have a specific job including a nurse who took the time to tell me where I could stand and eventually sit, an what not to touch (which was everything!!).  This nurse also had a more important job, she had to stand in a specific place to make sure that the radio reception was clear.  This became apparent every time that she moved, as all the staff in the room would moan because the signal would disappear (I would suggest that there were more important to be concerned about at that point, but this seemed to be close to the top of their list!!).  In the unfolding events over the next few minutes, I didn’t notice that the radio was on.  Due to a large curtain, I could not see anything but could hear an awful lot of activity leading up to the safe delivery of our little girl.  When Milly had been wrapped up, I was asked if I wanted to hold her, which of course I did.  As the nurse placed her in my arms, I became aware that it was Radio Nottingham playing in the background and the 3 o’clock news had just finished, and then a song started playing.  The soundtrack to my first cuddle with my daughter was 'My Girl' by The Temptations.  Perfect really!!!

Parenting by Google

The other week was a big week for Milly.  Monday November 7^th was her due date, meaning that, if she had gone full-term, she would be just over a week old.  I may have already mentioned that the last time that she was weighed, she had reached the dizzying weight of 5lbs 11oz.  This was a couple of weeks ago now, and at the rate that she was putting weight on, there is a good chance that she could be pushing 7lbs by now, which sounds like a healthy weight for a newborn baby.  We will find out this week if our guessing is accurate or not, when the health visitor comes to check her.  (Actually we were wrong.  She passed 7lbs, weighing in at 7lbs 4oz!!!)

Since Milly’s arrival was a little earlier than expected, there were some things that I didn’t get to do before her birth.  Little things, like reading through various books to get an idea of the requirements of caring for a new baby.  What are the sleeping patterns?  How often do they feed?  How much should they be fed?  How often should you change nappies?  A lot of these things were common sense (I know now!!), but none-the-less, they were things that I wanted to know before she arrived so I was, at least a little bit, prepared.  Now I know what I’m like, there is every chance that as Milly’s due date approached, my good intentions would have been pushed aside in favour of watching football, playing PlayStation, or just sleeping.  But we will never know as fate had other intentions, allowing me to claim the high ground and say that I would have been fully informed, and as prepared as possible.

Some of the gaps (gaping gaps!!) in my child care knowledge were filled in by the intensive “parent crafting” that we had to complete while Milly was in the NICU. A lot of it, however, just came from the experience of looking after her and learning her routines.  There were some other things that hadn’t occurred to me that I might need to know.  For example: new babies breathe predominantly through their noses and have to learn to breathe through their mouths.  As such, they get quite snuffly in the nasal region, and can require a little assistance to clear the airways.  This, again, is one of those things that has a very simple solution, but hearing your baby having discomfort while breathing is not a pleasant experience for the first few days!!!


This is where I have found comfort in the endless answers that can be provided by Google.  The concern over Milly's immune system added to the desire to find out if it was normal for babies to sneeze often (this seemed to significantly increase once we'd got her home!!), as it has many things.  Google was able to ease these concerns by directing us to web pages telling  us that it was normal.  Other guidance provided by Google was the regularity of a baby's bowels!!  It is surprising just how interested you become in the contents of a baby's nappy, particularly when there seems to have been a glaring omission for a couple of days, poo!!  Once again, Google was able to give us the information that allowed us to sleep peacefully, safe in the knowledge that the regularity of a baby pooing can be somewhat irregular!!  You will be pleased to know, however, that this issue has sorted itself, even if Milly does prefer to have an audience!!! (That's a story for another day).  Some of the questions we have asked Google (most of which seem like silly questions as I read the history know!!!) include:

• What foods should be avoided when breast feeding?
• Are babies noisy when sleeping?
• Can you warm breast milk straight from the fridge?
• How do I know if my baby needs winding?
• How serious is a cold for a premature baby?

As great as it has been to have an electronic baby manual at our disposal, this final question introduced me to the perils of using Google in this way, as it introduces you to every permutation of an infection known to man.  It also introduces you to a host of concerned parents worried that their children are suffering from every permutation of an infection known to man.  Once such permutation is something that I have suffered from (apparently), as has everyone in the first 2 years of their life.  This is a virus called Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV).  The description of this (according to http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov) is, "... a very common virus that leads to mild, cold-like symptoms in adults and older healthy children. It can be more serious in young babies,   especially to those in certain high-risk groups."  In my initial searches for information on the seriousness of a cold for Milly, I came across RSV time and time again, with each one explaining ever more concerning problems that it can cause.  The worst stuff came from parents forums (I know, I shouldn't have looked!!), from people getting really scared for their children, and amateur medics providing half-truths and worst-case scenarios.  It was enough to make you never want to leave the house and install a sterile sheep dip for anyone with the audacity to want to visit!!!  It did however lead me to an important realisation, I don't want to live like that.  Milly will get ill.  This cannot be avoided.  We will continue to use good basic hygiene to prevent unnecessary infections, but we will take her out and let people hold her.  Life is for living, they say.  Who are we to stop Milly experiencing hers now?

...until she gets that first cold, then everyone will be blamed, and no one will touch her again!!! 

A week of firsts

Last week I talked of the enjoyment that I’ve had spending the first weeks of Milly’s life together as a family.  About the excitement of watching Milly develop, and learning how to look after her.  This last week, I was asked if I was looking forward to going back to work, and that has made me think about the other side of parenting...being the provider.  Make no mistake, if we had the means, I would have absolutely no qualms about staying home and taking care of Milly.  But alas, we have no such fortune, and last Monday I returned to work, and we began the process of finding a new routine that fits in going to work, and taking care of Milly.

 

And so to the question of ‘Am I looking forward to it?’ (or was I looking forward to it)  Well, I was.  I do admit that last Sunday felt somewhat like the last day of the summer holidays (I had been off work for 5 weeks!!), although I did much more than I ever did during a 6 week holiday!  As enjoyable as the paternity leave had been, it was time to get back to normality.  Staying home with Milly has never been an option, so it is not an idea that I will miss.  I now have to focus on turning my part-time position into a full-time one, and start the process of building our lives together.  This is something that Elaine and I have been doing for a while in preparation for Milly’s arrival, and now we move onto the next stage.  This is a long-term project, as it is for anyone, but it is an exciting one, and one that requires me to return to work, to open a few doors, and pounce on any opportunities.*

On to a week of firsts, some enforced, and some based on finally daring to take the plunge.  Last Monday, Elaine had a routine doctor’s appointment.  The easy option would have been to let Elaine walk to the bus stop and make her own way into town to make her appointment.  But we decided that the time had come to put Milly in her car seat, and all go down together.  I admit that technically, this is the second time that Milly has had a car journey, the first being the ride home from the hospital, but I’m not counting that one as we had no choice in that instance.  I guess that what I’m really telling you about is our first conscious decision to take Milly out in the car.  A task that used to be as simple as getting in the car, driving to the location, and getting out, has suddenly become much more complicated with the amount of things to consider (hopefully these will become simpler over the next few weeks!!).  We had to think of what she could wear, should we cover her with a blanket, how long will she stay comfortable in the car seat???  Thinking back on that morning now, I know that I thought about it way too deeply, and as it turned out Milly was fine, sleeping throughout the whole experience.  I think one of the reasons for our concern was that initial ride home from the hospital, one in which she rattled around in her car seat, making it a most unpleasant journey.  However, 4 more weeks of growth had sorted this, and she settled into her seat very cosily indeed, even if we did toast her slightly with the amount of layers we put on her!!!


Following the success of the trip out in the car (and with the blessing of our Health Visitor) we decided that we would take Milly out for her first proper experience of outdoors.  We again braved the dilemma of correct layers of clothing (this time having to take into consideration the fleece-lined carry cot!!) and took Milly out for her first walk in the cold autumn air...only it wasn't cold.  It wasn't even cool!!  So, on our walk on a MILD autumn afternoon, the concern over Milly getting too cold was replaced with a concern over me getting too hot.  Apparently it is not quite time for winter coats!!  Once again, Milly was fine, making us seem foolish to have any concerns whatsoever, she even coped with the ordeal of popping into ASDA to pick up a few bits and pieces.  A real trooper!

And to the final 'first' experienced over the last week, my first week back at work.  It has been a little strange leaving home in the morning and then not seeing Elaine or Milly for a good chunk of the day.  Everyday Milly seems to come on more and more.  She is becoming more active in the day, and is starting to have a preference for certain toys.  She also seems to be getting a lot more control over her eyes, focusing on specific things, and is definitely sharing a few more smiles.  Maybe these things would have started to happen this week, or maybe I'm noticing more because I don't see her all day now, but it is nice to see her growing and learning.  One thing I did expect this week was the tiredness to catch up with me.  However, I have only felt tired as a result of not being at work for 5 weeks, not because I'm losing sleep through the night.  Mind you, this might be because we are both asleep before 9pm and catching up on sleep before the late night feeds start!!  What returning to work has done though, is make the weekends even sweeter, because I get to spend a lot of time with my ladies!


*This weeks blog is actually 2 weeks worth of information (that might be obvious).  The first half was written last weekend, but I struggled to find the time to finish it.  I decided that I would leave it as it was, only changing the necessary tenses to ensure that it made sense, and add a few things from this week.  I tell you this because there has been a notable change in our circumstances since starting this edition of my blog, something so important, I feel it was necessary to leave the second paragraph as it was because it showed how I was feeling at this time last week.  The change of which I speak is that I have a new job!! A full-time one, which pays me more money and has given Elaine and I such a huge sense of relief as we will be able to provide properly for our little girl!!  Today, all is right in the world!!